Valentine’s Day!

There are three kinds of Valentine’s Day, all of which you will likely experience at some point:

1) The SAD (single awareness day) — sitting on the couch, eating chocolates your mother sent you (“you’ll find Mr./Mrs. Right one day, sweetie, don’t worry”…), watching romantic comedies or worse, dramas, convinced you will inevitably become the weird cat lady who never leaves the house or the creepy old guy who acts like he’s still in his 20s. Stay strong. Your mom’s right.

2) The Cliché — the expected level of romance to assure your special person that they are, in fact, special. Must haves: cheesy card, chocolates, roses, jewelry or some other token of your affection, and a “surprise” evening (which is actually not a surprise, since you are only fulfilling expectations, but whatevs). Enjoy.

3) The Oops — this one is bad, very, very bad. You were so busy cramming for exams, writing papers, staying on top of assignments, etc., that you completely forgot that Valentine’s Day was a thing and now it’s too late. If you’re lucky, your partner forgot, too, but don’t count on it.  Your failure to provide The Cliché will mean “I don’t care enough about you to remember” or “I’m just not that in to you” and will result in “the talk.” Your night will turn into The SAD. But maybe it doesn’t have to…

As a future accountant, you can use an excuse that would be too translucent coming from the rest of us: you didn’t forget — you just found a way to get more bang for your Valentine’s Day buck. How? By celebrating on a different day, when it is a buyer’s market. “Honey, that romantic getaway you’ve always talked about will cost half what it would this weekend when we go next weekend…” (Of course, the getaway costs more than you would’ve spent on a special evening, but hey, now you won’t have “the talk.”)

For the points you will need to support your position, read Brett Arends’s “Dodging the Valentine’s Day Hordes” in the Wall Street Journal (

And do still run to Walgreens for a card and some Russell Stover’s (though the pickin’s will be slim) — they will maximize your credibility when you say you didn’t actually forget…

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